To my husband on our 20th wedding anniversary

Dear you,

It’s our twentieth wedding anniversary.

As I’ve said that to other people I’ve realised that it’s one of those phrases that doesn’t begin to describe or explain or express the truth of what it means.

Yes, we can all understand that on this day in 1996 we had a wedding service and a lunch and speeches and a party, and I became Mrs, but even that doesn’t explain a lot.

Do you remember 6 months after that date when we woke up together on our first holiday, in a rather austere bed and breakfast, and you asked me what I was thinking? My response threw you a little…. ‘I’m lying here thinking that I barely know you and wondering why on earth we got married.’

It wasn’t that I didn’t love you or like being with you – I just had a dawning realization of the enormity of what we’d committed to, and wondered how on earth we’d thought we knew each other well enough to do that. How did anyone, ever know?

We’d been together for 3 years before we married. I don’t think we could have done more to prepare. We went to pre-marital counseling, where we thought it was funny that we seemed to be polar opposites on so many things. How naïve we were?! Turned out our polarity wasn’t always quite so funny in reality.

The early years were full of the loveliness of being together. No longer having to live in different places, but enjoying the combining of our lives. With only two of us we were both able to be who we wanted to be. Our Saturday morning routine where you jumped out of bed early to go to play sport, getting back at midday to find me getting up to watch the end of children’s Saturday morning TV in my PJ’s with a bowl of cereal. Your morning tendencies and my ability to sleep until lunchtime didn’t matter. We had all the time in the world….(continues here)



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