I’d forgotten my Why

I feel like I have some explaining to do. I declared this blog to be reaching its end, and yet now, here I am, two months later, inviting you back to its revitalised space.

So what happened ?

I changed my mind. I got it wrong. Maybe a little bit of both.

When I began The Hope Diaries it was to record an ongoing, unpredictable, uncertain journey of faith. I was choosing to believe that God was the source of hope in my life, and that if I followed the path He was showing me, He would meet my needs.  I didn’t really believe that He would, but I was clinging on to the possibility like a drowning person to a life raft.

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photo by The Hope Diaries

If you were a reader of the blog you’ll know that He met my needs, He restored and is restoring my brokeness, and He has brought light into darkness. I wrote here for a year, sharing that story. The story of God.

I thought that as my journey was moving on from the crisis events which caused me to start this blog, I should stop writing The Hope Diaries. I thought that it was wrong for me to keep carrying this story with me, as I began to tell new stories of God.

I wrote in other spaces, (and thank you to those of you who followed me there. I was glad of your company), but it just wasn’t right.

I wasn’t sure of my ‘why’ anymore.

One morning this week my bible reading began with this verse:

‘Stand up! I have chosen you to be my servant. You will be my witness—you will tell people the things that you have seen and the things that I will show you. This is why I have come to you today.’ ( Acts 26 v 16) .

It’s Jesus’ instruction to Saul, after he was blinded by the light and had fallen in the road. That was the ‘why?’ for Saul.

I think it’s the why for me too. It’s the why for getting up on my feet, and for sharing my story of God. The things I have seen and the things He will show me.  It’s why you share your stories with me too, as you have done in the past on this blog and in the facebook community. I missed that sharing of stories, and the way that we encourage one another.

I was also wrong to think that the stories recorded in The Hope Diaries so far, are about a part of my life that I am leaving behind. Those events have brought me to the place where I am now, and I believe that where I am now is a place of hope. I want the rest of my life to be the story of hope, so where better to keep sharing it than in The Hope Diaries.

Thank you for sticking around whilst I worked out this part of the story.  It feels good to be back here with you.

( I will be restoring much of the old content, but it may take me a little while, so bear with me while I keep working on it!)

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6 thoughts on “I’d forgotten my Why

  1. I’m glad your full story is back up. I know how much it helped me to read your Year of Hope- it’s worth keeping it available if others like me can follow your lead to restoration too.

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