“Therefore, if anyone belongs to Christ he is a new person.
The old life is gone. A new life has begun.”
2 Corinthians 5 v 17
Yesterday I read a post from a blogger called Conflicted Love. She has had an affair and has left it to restore her marriage. In that post she talked about walking out of 2014 and leaving so many things behind her. She has no plans to carry them into 2015.
I know that there is much I need to set down in 2014 and not continue to carry it with me as I step into 2015. I need to shake the dust of 2014 off my feet and walk into 2015 with my eyes fixed on what lies ahead not what lies behind.
And I’m beginning to realise that my difficulty in letting go is linked to my inability to forgive myself. To believe the reality of that verse above. To accept that I am forgiven and therefore in Christ all things can be made new.
I seem to feel a need to do penance. To walk under a cloud. To feel like an outsider. To be always worrying that I will step over the line again and find myself on the wrong side of God’s love.
A few weeks ago someone had a picture for me as we were praying together. It was less a picture and more a lengthy film clip! It was beautiful and funny. Part of it involved Jesus pursuing me in an attempt to take a rucksack off my back. A rucksack that I didn’t even realise I was carrying. From time to time he’d catch up with me ( I was running) and grab something from inside it and throw it away. Apparently the bag was full of ( excuse the language but it is important) ‘dried lumps of crap’. He was trying to catch me so that he could take the bag off and we could sit down and talk about forgiveness. I was running hard in pursuit of forgiveness.
I think I may be reaching the point where I stop running and let Jesus catch up with me. I might even set the bag down before He has to take it from me.
I want to walk into 2015 knowing that the old life has gone; a new life has begun.
Thank you for walking through this year with me. I looked for hope and it found and rescued me. I have been blessed beyond measure by your presence and I am sure that I will continue to write here, but I intend to pause for a little while at this year end. And so I end my year of Hope with this blessing from Romans 15;
‘May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.’ Amen.