31 days – Postscript

It’s been almost 2 days since I last posted. I held back yesterday, because I’m not sure yet that I’m going to become a daily blogger – that seems a little presumptuous of the interest of my readers – but I wanted to write today.

I wanted to write about the impact that writing those 31 days had on me, because the consequence was not what I was expecting.

The writing has enabled me to let go of some things. To write of events as past events, and not my present, showed me clearly that that is indeed what they are. My relationship with the other is not continuing. The agony of not knowing whether to stay in my marriage or end it, that too is in the past. My marriage is my present.

God’s faithfulness; that is both past and present.

The completion of the series also birthed some other words which I needed to write. The post I wrote on Day 31 reminded me that I have come a long with God’s help. Your encouragement to me this month has helped to remove the final coverings of shame which still tried to keep me in the shadows.

On Friday I wrote words which  needed to be written to someone. Words which allowed me to not hide away as I had been doing, but instead to stand up straight, look them in the eye and claim my identity as a child of God.

Today I went to church. Those of you who are familiar with this blog will know that due to my circumstances I haven’t felt able to go to church for a long time. I’ve tried a few times and every time has been emotionally exhausting and too difficult to sustain.  Today I worshipped and just loved being there.

So thank you for helping me to write the series. Your daily encouragements to me, both through comments here on the blog, and on the Facebook page, have held me to my aim of being honest about my journey and recognising God’s working in this situation.

This morning I was struck by a line of a song,

‘You are ever interceding 

As the lost become the found’  

( The Victor’s Crown)

 A year ago I was the lost. I think even as christian believers of many years or decades we can still be lost. And now, due to the interceding of both Jesus, who sits at the right hand of the Father, and the interceding of so many of you, my friends and readers, and my own relentless pursuit of God in the darkness, I am found. And it is wonderful!

We sang this song too today, and I’m thinking my next series may be ‘10,000 reasons’ . What do you think ? 🙂

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8 thoughts on “31 days – Postscript

  1. So much has happened for you, so many breakthroughs. This is really exciting! Great is thy faithfulness was the song played at our wedding. It is so significant for us, because we know that we are only still married due to His faithfulness, not ours.
    Love 10,000 reasons – sounds like a great blog plan. Have you heard this song? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9svNAjMg0yQ – It speaks volumes to me – I am sure you will love it too xx

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    1. Thanks for writing and for sharing a song. I’m always glad to get song recommendations so keep them coming 🙂 It is really interesting isn’t it to see what wedding songs we chose and how meaningful they become – Thine be the Glory, Be thou my Vision and Oh God Beyond all Praising were ours and my goodness they hold some truths x

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  2. I’m going to listen to Matt Redman’s song tomorrow – I love his music and his heart. The journey you are on belongs to all of us, as members of the Body of Christ. What hurts one, hurts all of us. You know how it goes, we must cry together as well as rejoice together. I hope your healing continues and if you feel led to write about it now and then. I’ll be reading and watching! xo

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    1. Thank you for that affirmation. I am rather overwhelmed and excited to be honest, by how God is using the light that he is pouring into my situation, to stir other people’s hearts towards Him. I will be writing more. I don’t seem to be able to stop 🙂

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  3. I’m so glad you were able to go to church today and you loved it! Thankful that I could walk this journey with you. God loves us in all of our brokenness. Yet there are so many times that that is not easy for us to trust in.

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  4. I have been so encouraged to follow your journey. I am particularly heartened by reading about you not just being able to get to church and endure it…. but you were able to feel comfortable and enjoy it. Learn to recognize the whispers of Mr Shame, and know they are not for you. Praise God for the all sufficiency of the cross, and the benefits we access.

    Thank you for not just being brave enough to share your story – it in itself has presented challenges for me and I am sure, others.

    Bless you lovely lady. Onwards and upwards. This too will be in your past one day….. and this too will, by God’s grace, bare fruit.

    love Liz

    On Sun, Nov 2, 2014 at 10:45 PM, The Hope Diaries – writing about the mess

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