On March 17th I posted some poetry. The question I asked was
“Is God enough? Can he be? Wait.”
Today I am affirming that yes he is. He can be. He has been. And I believe he will be.
I’m finding it hard to write here at the moment. Partly because sometimes even an anonymous blog feels too public to share what is deep in my heart.
So this morning I will share what I am learning through this time.
I didn’t know what to do with myself this morning, and a bit of American vernacular popped into my head.
‘You just need to let Jesus love on you this morning’.
Instantly the tears came. The thoughts not far behind them.
‘Doesn’t he have better things to do than that ? Why would he love me? I can’t let him do that. I don’t deserve it.’
But as I showered and cried, and sat at the piano singing songs of worship to him, he did love on me.
He’s told me that he is proud of me. That makes no sense.
I am certainly not proud of me. But he has shown me that in the way that a parent feels ready to burst when they see their child recognising wrongdoing, trying to restore relationship and change their heart, that’s how he feels about me. He knows how hard I’m working on things with his help, and he knows that I’m not there yet, and he knows there are some pretty big hurdles yet to overcome, but he knows the direction I have chosen to face is towards him. With my eyes fixed on Jesus. And he is proud of me. He thinks I am brave. He knows I am weak. He believes I am strong in Him. He’s with me all the time.
He gave me these words through others’ words this morning
“Be still, for the power of the Lord is moving in this place:
He comes to cleanse and heal, to minister his grace.
No work too hard for him, in faith receive from him.”
And I gave him these:
” All my days I will sing this song of gladness,
give my praise to the Fountain of Delights;
for in my helplessness you heard my cry,
and waves of mercy poured down on my life.
I will trust in the cross of my Redeemer,
I will sing of the blood that never fails,
of sins forgiven, of conscience cleansed,
of death defeated and life without end.
Clothed in majesty, Lord of history
You’re the way, the truth , the life.
Star of the morning,
glorious in holiness,
You’re the risen one, Heaven’s champion
And you reign, you reign over all. “
I loved on Jesus today. He loved on me. I think that that is a good place to be.
“For I am sure that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus.” Romans 8