Hope for the Year – 5 months on

I love the chance to join the monthly linkup over at the messy middle, where anyone who has chosen a word as part of #oneword365 can take a moment to review what their word has been doing in their life.

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Hope is not an abstract concept, it’s a declaration of something already existing. Saying I have hope is akin to saying ‘I have a dog’ ( I do), not ‘maybe in the future I might have a pet snake’ ( who knows?). 

Why?

The hope that  I know and have is based on the knowledge that God is sovereign. He is the head crusher. He has won the battle. He is King.

I have hope because if my trust is in him I will never be disappointed.

In January this is what I wrote

“I have hope because of a God who loves me. I have hope because in Jesus he understands pain, and sadness, and loneliness and heartbreak. I have hope because he makes beautiful things from dust. I have hope because already he is bringing change that I could not have foreseen. and I have hope because no matter what the outcome is he will never stop loving me. I love that God is not limited by our linear time or thinking. I need a big God. I need an incomprehensible God.”

I had no idea what the next months would bring. I envisaged the ending of a marriage, and a great deal of pain and loneliness. Because I had committed myself to look at life through the paradigm of hope I leaned on God to be my EVERYTHING. More than I ever have in my life before.

So many times in the past months I have wept and said,

“If I can’t have (xxx)  then you need to cover that gap for me. I am placing my hope in you”

Every time.

Every time he has provided. 

I have been given community.

I have been loved.

I have known more acceptance than possibly ever before in my life.

I have stopped being quite so hard on myself all the time.

I have accepted that I am a sinner who needs her Saviour, and that sin does not disqualify me from the gift of grace.

I have a future – I don’t know what it looks like but Hope tells me that it is in the company of my Heavenly Father and with my brother, my captain, my saviour Jesus, and that is surely the ultimate prize.

Hope has allowed transformation and grace and forgiveness and love

Hope gives time for the broken things to be mended

Hope heals the wounds and brings relief to the pain

I am not who I was in January when I began this journey of hope.

I can’t quite believe the way that hope has grown like a vine, spreading its tendrils throughout my heart, my mind, my life, my writing and changing me in a beautiful way.

And yes, I can see the beauty where before I only saw brokenness.

Hope reveals truth

Hope underpins everything

 

 

 

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3 thoughts on “Hope for the Year – 5 months on

  1. Oh my word … this is so stunningly beautiful:

    “I can’t quite believe the way that hope has grown like a vine, spreading its tendrils throughout my heart, my mind, my life, my writing and changing me in a beautiful way.”

    Can I join with you in saying I can’t quite believe it? And yet, it offers me … hope 🙂

    I love seeing you each month 🙂

    Like

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