It is 8 months since I chose the word Hope for the year. It seemed to find me then, and today I am taking a moment to reflect on where I now see that word in my life.
A few months ago I wrote about how it had grown and its tendrils had curled around me.
That plant has begun to flower. There are buds and even a few blooms on it now.
How has that happened?
It has happened because the hope is not my desperate, wishful clinging to a dream or desire. The Hope is entirely God’s doing, and my part has been to accept that it exists.
When I first shared my circumstances with a group of women at the beginning of Lent, one of them gave me Psalm 40:
“I waited patiently for the Lord;
he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire,
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.”
She pointed out to me that all I had to do was wait patiently. The Lord himself had the other six verbs so He would do everything else.
So I waited. I waited out the loneliness and the broken heartedness. I waited whilst I stared into a gaping void. I waited as I wept and lay sleepless. I waited for an uncertain future. I waited as the hurts continued to fall upon me like blows. I waited as we worked our way through marriage counselling sessions which were an agony to experience. I waited in my marriage. I waited in my shared bed. I waited in my broken and fragmented life. I waited as I took the tablets each day which enabled me to face each day. I waited lifting my bible each morning and reading this blessing as I started every new day,
“May the peace of the Lord Christ go with you,
wherever He may send you.
May he guide you through the wilderness,
protect you through the storm.
May he bring you home rejoicing
at the wonders He has shown you.”
I now desire to wait patiently for the Lord for the rest of my life, because I have found in these past eight months that when I trust Him for everything – every breath, every moment, every emotion; when I place all my Hope in Him, He fulfils it.
This morning I turned to my bible readings and was given Psalm 40 again. Today I read it saying ‘Yes. He has turned to me, heard my cry, lifted me out of the pit, set my feet upon a rock, given me a firm place to stand and set a new song in my mouth.’
This is my song. Praise to our God. He can do the impossible.
Choose Hope. That is the only thing you need to do because Hope is God’s word.
I wait patiently for the Lord.
This post is linked with Amy Young’s “Trusting Tuesdays” over at the Messy Middle